I went out this morning to walk the dog and I have all these daylilies blooming in my yard.
I hadn’t brought out my camera, so I made a mad dash to retrieve it, hoping my dog wouldn’t run down the road while I aspired to cater to my photographer’s whims.
These last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I’m excited about the Master’s degree.
But, there’s also a wistful, bittersweet side to it.
You see, I love all the stuff I’m doing right now, too. (This includes walking out into the yard in my flipflops and PJ’s to snap photos.) Sure, there has been that element of loneliness in freelancing full time. It’s prompted me to want to move to the city in a big, bad way. I love the country and all, but I need people. Even if I am a clark.
When classes looming on the horizon, I’ve been furiously thinking about what I’m going to cut back on, what I’m going to keep doing, and what I might have time for.
Well, taking 3 classes in three weeks, I’m probably not going to have time for a lot of extra things. And wonderful readers, please bear with me: the summer classes will actually be the busiest time. Even when I return to school in the fall (as a student and as a teacher), I will have more time because everything will be spread out over the course of a semester. If I don’t make it to your blog to comment, please know I’m still reading as I can and tweeting your posts.
I’ve racked my brain to figure out my dilemma of doing too much: writing only a few articles a month for the various writing clients I have (maybe canceling them altogether), writing just a few articles per month over at HubPages, still doing art, and photography, starting a new blog for Spanish teachers, creating a Teachers Pay Teachers store….
Whoa there, cowgirl.
I am WAY too good at taking on WAY too much.
I want to do so many things; I need nine of me to keep up.
It’s a chronic problem I have. I realize this.
As we drove to Waynesville yesterday, I found myself not wanting to think. I do way too much of that too. In fact, when I give my poor brain some room to breathe, that’s when it comes up with the answers I need.
I would do well to remember that – I don’t want to experience those all-too-familiar symptoms of burn-out.
Thirty minutes into our hour-long journey, after willing myself to look at the mountainside and enjoy the summer blooms, and NOT to think, IN popped the answers: how I would do it all.
And in a stream of consciousness fashion, it went something like this: hold-off-on-Teachers-Pay-Teachers-continue-writing-a-hub-here-and-there-keep-doing-photography-when-I-have-time-go-ahead-and-create-art-if-just-to-give-it-away-treat-my-writing-art-photography-as-a-sideline-like-making-money-from-a-second-job.
Blogging, writing, photography, art – I can do them all, but it will be when I have time, when they happen to fit in my schedule, and treat them as really fun part time jobs. They don’t have to interfere with anything else if I don’t want them to.
Plus, I should go with what I’m already doing: my poor store at Zazzle is growing cobwebs, though I’m selling stuff. (I love the internet for that, haha.) My Flickr account is growing, and my hubs continue to garner the views.
That’s what I did before: when I was teaching full-time last year, I treated my writing as a sideline and it was most enjoyable that way.
I have to do it this way otherwise, I will get an Overload and run myself ragged.
This last year has been so healing on so many levels and I don’t want to ruin it by taking on too much again.
This song from the movie Dirty Dancing came to mind:
Granted, it’s more of a love song, but I’m feeling the effects in that department, too.
I have to say it’s weird going off and staying in a dorm for three weeks (I do get to come home on the weekends) without my husband. That dude and I are best friends and we are incredibly close – even after knowing each other for 12.5 years. If he is my rock, then I am the paper, pencil and scissors. (You remember that game?) It’s cliche, I know, but it’s true for us: I like to compare us to two trees that have fused together, created a deep root system, and we reach for the sky together.
So, the Dirty Dancing video is perfect.
The last time I was away from him for more than a few days was when I went to study in Spain in 2005. I “lived” there for five weeks. I loved it, but I have to say, spending that time without my husby was…difficult. For the first two weeks, I cried myself to sleep each night. The third week, I was sort of getting used to the fact that he wasn’t there with me, but then the fourth and fifth weeks were filled with anguish because I couldn’t wait to get home to him – so crying myself to sleep every night happened all over. I mean, I enjoyed the Spanish culture, for sure, but it would have been infinitely more enjoyable if he’d been able to experience it with me.
I have some questions for you, the reader:
Do you take on too much? How do you combat it?
If you have a significant other, do you want to be with him/her all the time?